Wednesday, May 10, 2006
great exams are over.
and 'par-tay' is not a verb as
teens like to use.
it's grammatically incorrect.
im in great mood today.
so my dear friend rachel-jiaen
knows my blog.
but im going to pretend she's not
reading cause well that's the initial purpose right?
to speak my mind without having to offend anybody.
nobody to be judgemental about it.
hence,this private blog.
im still searching for a comprehensible
html code so that i could put password on
certain entries so i can actually officially
open this blog.
still searching..
anyways,wow!
im really happy that syaheedah PM-ed me.
in my opinion, i think she's the coldest among all
towards me.surprised she bothered.oh well,
she's asking me about hera.
seems like everybody's doing that.
well, big-mouth hera,i think she got potential to
be a gossip columnist.
oh yeah!...so, im gonna post the conversation i had
with her yesterday via IM on the next post.
yesterday i cried.yeah im so pathetic, that makes it twice this week.
i dont know,i mean people might think my family
is tight-knitted but well, things dont usually meets the eye.
sometimes i just dont feel appreciated and not respected.
credits to my dear monstrous sibblings.
i hate falling out with them, but i dont know.
this also probably leads to my insecurities.
ive been trying to figure myself out, since i like
analysing people, i should do it to myself.
i mean, i go through alot for my family but i dont get appreciated.
it could happen to me socially.i dont need that.
ive endured that enough 1/2 the day.
hence, me being recluse. protecting myself from getting hurt
and stepped all over.
now, im also learning to manage my anger.
i vent it here or i take a cold bath!haha cold baths always
work, it might sound cliche but it feels like
the drops of water hitting my skin is like
acid dissolving my problems away. AND!it always calms me down.
you know my addiction in cutting myself last time?
when i felt totally depresed over Wan and cut myself AND! my mum
saw it, well it kind of came back to me yesterday.
but well, i decided against it and was left with only a little cut
on my left wrist. come to think of it, it's DUMB!
hahaha!like they say, physical pain is easier to endure
than emotinal pain.
im such a mess
♥XOXO