Sunday, September 02, 2007
sometimes i'm just overwhelmed by
the rush of feelings i could feel all at once.
why didnt i feel pissed?
why was my heart palpitating? it almost
felt excited by his prescence.
an adrenaline rush that had seized its existence in my body
made itself known,who knew i could actually ever feel that again.
it felt like ive achieved a level of normality.
and my wide smile (probably fake, or not) totally betrayed
my hatred for him.
where had the contempt melt away to?
had it even faded?
wow,it almost felt surreal.
i searched deep in my thoughts to find the
hate im suppose to radiate off instead i was
looking out for that familiar face,a sense of longing.
and it got me thinking, was that how he saw me?
and i could see a glimmer of flickering hope
but it could be easily extinguished.
p.s:maybe hating him was too stultifying for me.
it drained the hell out of me to bitch about him or
put a brave and intimidating front everytime his name is mentioned
or in his prescence.
♥XOXO